Laura reached out to me with the idea for this website—to share Ryan’s story and bring hope to people who may be struggling. This subject is deeply personal to me, and if sharing our stories helps even one person, then it is worth it.
I was about 14 when I began battling depression. I struggled silently with deep sadness, self-hatred, and thoughts that made me believe my life had no purpose or value. There were many times where I contemplated taking my own life; I simply couldn’t see the future ahead of me, the people who loved me, or a reason to keep going.
I grew up believing in God, but I struggled to believe He loved me personally. Around 16, I reached a point where I completely surrendered my life to Him and asked Him to meet me in my pain.
The following week at a church conference, I experienced the love of God in a way I never had before. Something changed in me that night. The darkness I had carried privately for years no longer had the same hold on my life, and I have never forgotten that encounter.
Now at 21, I look back and realize how much life I would have missed if I had given up at 14. I would have missed friendships, memories, opportunities, healing, laughter, and a future I simply could not see at the time.
That is why I want to tell anyone struggling today: what you are feeling is real, but it is not the whole story.
Pain can make it difficult to imagine a future, but there may be so much ahead of you that you cannot see yet. Reach out. Let someone into what you are carrying. And know that your life has value and purpose beyond this moment.
I am incredibly thankful my story continued.
There is more to your story, too. Don’t let the pain of this chapter become the ending.
I experienced the love of God in a way I never had before, and the darkness no longer had the same hold on my life.